I have writer's block and I need a damn vacation.

I believe the answers to my problems can be found in the South of France.

Hi Substack,

How are you all doing? It’s currently 11:33PM in New York as I write this and it’s still 85 degrees. It feels like 90 in our apartment. Free sauna!

Our little window units cannot keep up with this shit. After I write this, I will take another cold shower and climb into bed in our perfectly chilly bedroom.

We have an additional window unit in there and I’ve had the door closed since 7PM, otherwise it would be as uncomfortable as the living room right now. A small pool of sweat is forming between my thighs and the underside of my MacBook Air.

I won’t lie to you, I don’t have it in me to rush to finish an exciting tale from my days in the Coast Guard. I have writer’s block and work is a lot and the world is a strange place right now. Don’t get me wrong, there is an abundance of beauty, much to be grateful for. But everything feels…very…heavy. Not just the thick city air during a heatwave.

I’m exhausted. Too exhausted to write lately.

Maybe I’m burnt out of writing about the military. It feels stagnant sometimes, so many individuals couldn’t give a shit about the military or service members. Or want to read something fun or mindless after a long day of work and being a human. I don’t want to read my writing most days. Is that weird as a writer?

It feels like there are unwritten rules.

Only one rule has worked for me: no matter what keep writing. You will learn, and improve, and then regress, and learn and improve all over again.

I just read the book On Writing and Failure by Stephen Marche. Aside from humorous pings at the misery that can come with writing, Stephen explains throughout the book no special habits or secrets will help you be a writer except endurance. There will inevitably be rejection and failure, celebrate it, add it to your collection, and keep writing.

I’m trying, Stephen!

Fuck the numbers! Engagement, engagement, engagement.

What do you all want to read more of? What isn’t for you? Is the military stuff boring or would you like it explored from a different angle if possible? Tell me, please!

I want to write about certain things, but I worry about being controversial. I want to write about other people’s experiences, the human experience and all of its absurdities.

Anyway, I need a damn vacation but luckily the timing (for once) is perfect. In two days I fly to France to see my dearest friends get married. I can’t wait to be dressed up, drinking champagne, and smoking those skinny French cigarettes with people I love.

Speaking of love, I love you all and am so grateful for every single one of you being here and reading my writing. No cliché, no bullshit. Truly. Thank you for being here.

Together, we keep going!